It is the long weekend here in the United States because of Thanksgiving. The turkey, or goat meat, has been eaten. Tables have been cleared and the fridge is heaving with leftovers. I am getting back to the business of life via binge watching Youtube.
I have watched so many beauty tutorials, I feel like I can blend out my crease while sleeping and still have a flawless finish. I have recently gotten back into watching beauty tutorials because I have recently started falling back in love with myself. Every time I get sucked into the black hole that is Youtube, it always amazes how much growth that platform has experienced.
My adventure with Youtube started 10 years ago. I remember watching Panacea81 channel back in the days. She was the one that really got me to think about buying brushes instead of using the tiny brushes that came with the makeup kit. Of course, times have changed now on Youtube. There are now thousands and thousands of beauty vloggers alone. There are all sorts of categories of Youtube channels.
Today, while I was watching Nikkie Tutorials channel, she mentioned that she had been making Youtube videos for 9 years. It occurred to me that I don’t think I have committed to anything for that long in my life. As I hopped through channels, I realized that the vloggers that I like are the ones that have been doing it for a long time. They are the ones that have built their contents even when they were making no money off it.
I have made an effort to seek out new Youtube beauty channels. When I say new, I mean channels that are just coming up. I love watching Kyra Knox these days. I am also a fan of Joulezy. These are channels that haven’t cracked the PR list for the most part yet or built a massive audience yet.
As I watch these women who are bravely starting channels and consistently putting themselves out there, I am inspired to figure out how I want to present myself to the world. I have filmed videos intending to start a Youtube channel for years and I back down because I am too scared to put myself out into the world in that way. I have walked away from blogs and deleted blogs because I am more comfortable with admitting defeat than imagining success.
Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic came on my radar, a couple of weeks back, via my friend Bukky. Big Magic is a book that explores being creative through fear. I haven’t gotten around to reading the book yet. Instead, I have been listening to her podcast. It has made me realize that living a successful creative life requires a high tolerance for boredom and repetition. Sometimes, I imagine that as a creative person everything I do will be exciting and groundbreaking. The truth is that in order to be creative and develop the skills I need to execute at a higher level, I need to be okay with failing and repeating the same things until I get it right. I need to be okay with being ok instead of being great. I need to realize that building audience takes time. I need to accept that there is no perfect time to start being creative.
The other day I was on the Ipsy Facebook page when I saw a video that inspired me. The video was a collaboration with Maryam Remias. Maryam Remias is an older woman with grey hair and tips dyed a vibrant purple. She is not what anybody would assume to be the target audience for make-up but she clearly is interested so she has a Youtube channel doing tutorials for older women. Watching her on the Ipsy page made me realize there is no bad time to tap into my interests and creativity. There is not a tipping point where I am suddenly qualified to start chasing my dreams.
I don’t know where I am heading creatively with this blog yet. However, I do know that I am going to try my best to keep showing up. I have to do it for myself to exercise that consistency muscle. Eventually, I hope I’ll find my rhythm and my path would be clearer than it is now.
In the meantime, I have to go back to Youtube and catch up with Shameless Maya who inspires me every day to live my life vicariously. I have to see what slay Jackie Aina has created for my black skin. Maybe when I am done, I’ll fall asleep listening to Kina Grannis.